Thanksgiving has come and gone. Christmas is one week away. We leave Brasil today after a rewarding three-month
stay to return to the United States. At
the supermarket, White Christmas is streaming through the store and everything is decorated in green and red tinsel.
Piles of boxes of holiday Pannetone fill the ends of the aisles and
boxes of Brasilian champagne are displayed prominently near the check out counters. It is 90 degrees Fahrenheit and the beginning
of summer. We will return to 40 degrees
and the beginning of winter.
We had a wonderful visit during the last week of November –
the American Thanksgiving with our son and daughter-in-law. While our son lived in Brasil as a toddler
and has visited throughout his life, it was our daughter-in-law’s first visit
to Brasil. Their time was short. We agreed that the focus of their time would be visiting places in Piracicaba that our son remembered from his
youth and going to the beach. Somehow we
managed to crowd in a weekend at the goat farm, Cabra Feliz; two visits to our
amazing gym in Piracicaba (exercising is a family passion!); a visit to Rio
Piracicaba and our favorite restaurant along Rua do Porto. We shared the traditional Sunday lunch of
grilled tambaqui, salad and ice-cold caipirinhas. Our daughter-in-law ate her first palmitos
(palm hearts) and mandiocas fritas! She
loved them. Then we spent six days at
the beach near Ubatuba enjoying the sun, the surf, the sand and the shrimp.
The day of Thanksgiving found us on the beach. Our dinner was not turkey and cranberry sauce
– it was fresh grilled Atlantic fish and risotto; mango salad and great big
barbequed shrimp. On Thanksgiving
morning my son went surfing with a friend while my daughter-in-law and I bonded
over old family stories.
There is really something special about a daughter-in-law –
and I suspect – although I have not yet experienced it – a son-in-law. When our son married, one of my sisters,
whose son had married two years before, told me to cherish the gift of a daughter-in-law. She told me that at the moment of your
child’s marriage, you instantly have a new family member. It is someone who will be the life-long
partner of your child, and perhaps the mother (in this case) of future
grandchildren.
This person isn’t a passing acquaintance. This is family with all the important love
and support and acceptance that family implies.
But it is not a child you raised from infancy. Someone you knew from the beginning of his or
her life. A daughter- or son-in-law is a
fully formed adult with whom you have the amazing chance to develop a new
relationship. My sister was right. My daughter-in-law is a gift. I was thrilled when our son married this young
woman and I was thrilled to have the opportunity to be in Brasil with her and share
our life here.
We went to a small town on the São Paulo coast called Ubatuba. Ubatuba caters to beach goers and
surfers. We stayed at a condominium that
belongs to our dear friends Bea and Reynaldo – of Cabra Feliz fame. Happily Bea joined us for part of the
week. When you sit on the terrace
looking at the view – you can see the surf line breaking along the beach and
beyond the beach, layers of coastal rainforest mountains – the Mata Atlantica –
fading into the distance.
The Brasilian coastline in the state of São Paulo and all
the way north to Rio is a continuous series of tranquil sandy coves and
secluded bays that back into the Mata Atlantica. The sand is very fine and lovely to sit
on. Sometimes it is almost white and
other times almost red – the color of the surrounding iron rich soils. If the sun is too hot there are beach
umbrellas and shady trees to protect you. The steep mountains of the Mata
Atlantica fall sharply from the high plains of São Paulo to the coast. The access roads are crazy steep switchbacks
that make you wonder how any road engineer could have designed them, let alone
built them. But the switch back roads
are there. On holidays they are filled
bumper to bumper with sun seekers. Thanksgiving
is not a holiday in Brasil and the beaches were delightfully empty.
My son is a surfer.
He took it up seriously in his twenties and tells me that he is
reasonably good. But he isn’t as good as
the surfers on the beaches of Ubatuba.
These surfers are there every day and appear to catch waves
effortlessly. My son tells me the trick
is to being a great surfer is to just quit your job and surf all day! Fortunately he hasn’t gone there. But there is definitely a surfing contingent
in Ubatuba that has.
We saw some amazing surfers, riding on the tongue of the
breaking waves as easily as I ride a bicycle.
Perhaps if you just keep practising, here or there you will catch a
perfect ride on a perfect wave. Like all
marine beaches, these Atlantic beaches have endless waves. The waves cross the ocean and break one after
the other as they near the shallow coastal plain. I suspect one of the attractions of surfing
comes from that infinite nature of waves…if you miss one there is always
another one coming.
There were so many things we did together – a good introduction to "a vida Brasileira" or at least Brasilian life on vacation… I remember sitting on the deck of the condo in Ubatuba – looking at the incredible view and just talking; doing our best to walk both sides of the river along Rua do Porto after two caipirinhas; sweating it out at spinning class at the gym; eating home made linguisa and succulent pork belly at Cabra Feliz; visiting the goat and pig barns and ogling at the tiny new baby piglets;
listening to the guitarist play old bossa nova songs while we
ate lunch in Paraty; jumping in the waves and swimming at our favorite beaches
– Toninhas and Feliz; churning out laps with my daughter-in-law in the cool
pool at the condo; watching the sun go down and loving the sparkling sea; cooking
together at the condo; walking up the steep stairs from sea level(whew); shopping
for a new bikini; seeing the big sky as we drove home from the beach across the
Serra; hanging out; visiting old friends; enjoying the time together!!!
Their visit
was a microcosm of family life…full of warmth and activity but also deep talks
about our memories, what we think or perhaps wish we didn’t think about the
state of the world and what is and isn’t important to us. As we move headlong into the Christmas
season, it is the right time to love and share with family and friends.
One thing
that is important to me is our relationship with Brasil. We leave tomorrow after three months. We plan to return again in about three
months. Our goal is to split our time as
seamlessly as possible between our two countries. It is hard to remember when Brasil first
became important to me. It was likely in
the very beginning in 1982 when I arrived on the Amazon River at 4 in the
morning. At 6 am I left with Jeff and a
group of other American and Brasilian scientists on a 20-meter riverboat. We traveled upstream that day to a small town
called Manacapuru. It was August and the
town only had electricity from a small diesel generator. But there was an important futebol (soccer)
game being played and Brasil was playing.
Along with much of the town’s population and the whole boat crew, Jeff
and I crowded into a small bar. I was so
tired that if the crowd had not been close enough to hold me up I would have
fallen on the floor! There was one small
TV over the bar and we all watched and cheered as Brasil won!
Another
memory that I hold close comes from a few years later – 1986. I was four or five months pregnant with our
second child and we had come to Brasil for a three-month assignment. Our son was two. In the beginning we stayed with our friends,
Bea and Reynaldo. On the second or third
day I was feeling a bit displaced. My
son was playing with other kids in the garden.
Bea told me that there was afternoon tea in the kitchen. I went into the kitchen and there, set on the
counter on a handmade tablecloth was a tea pot; a small pitcher of milk, cups
and saucers and tea biscuits. It looked
so inviting and so like home. I was born
in England and had (and still have) afternoon tea almost every day of my
life. I felt instantly at home and loved
the Brasilian heart that welcomed me so warmly.
Jeff and my relationship
with Brasil is long and deep. We are sad
to leave but happy to return to our home in Seattle and a traditional family
Christmas. We look forward to coming
back to Brasil in 2014. Last
night, after a final visit to our gym, we toasted farewell with Bea at Maravilhoso – our
favorite chopp (draft beer) bar. Later
today we will drive to São Paulo and fly all night to the United States. I feel very lucky to know Brasil and very
happy to have shared a part of it with our son and daughter-in-law.
A perfect
beginning to the Christmas season. Feliz
Natal! Boas Festas!